What I Forgot To Tell You About Eating At Our House

See, this is one of the reasons I haven't been blogging lately! Because I forget important details like giving you important background information before I throw the chart of foods the children will eat at you and ask for your help!

So, let me introduce you to the key players in this neverending nightly drama!

• 13 year old:
• sensitive gag reflex: used to frequently, involuntarily, throw up at the table (thankfully, he usually just gags now)
• strong-willed: would rather starve than eat something he doesn't like
• 10 year old:
• no obvious sensory issues
• strong-willed: would rather starve than eat something he doesn't like
• 8 year old:
• has issues with strong flavors and some textures
• has never been overly interested in eating: small boned, can usually count her ribs, looks as though she is being underfed.
• strong-willed: would rather starve than eat something she doesn't like
• 6 year old:
• no obvious sensory issues
• more steadfast and immovable than a mountain strong-willed: would rather starve than eat something he doesn't like
• defiant: regularly "cuts off his nose to spite his face"
• 2 year old:
• no obvious sensory issues
• generally too busy to sit down and eat
• used to be willing to try new foods, but has been negatively affected by his siblings' behavior

Why, OH WHY, can't the children be more like their father?! Having overly-sensitive taste buds myself, I understand what it is like to be surprised by an unexpected texture or overwhelmed by a strong flavor, and I know that you cannot force a child to eat. I have always tried to calmly put the food on the table, and if the child chooses to eat, that's fine, and if he chooses not to eat, that's fine too; he knows when the next meal or snack will be served. We do not require anyone to eat a certain amount of anything, although, sometimes we require a person to use their utensil to try a bite of one thing (this way the person can choose the size of the bite). We do this for foods that the child used to eat and like, and for some new foods because, every now and then, once the food is in the child's mouth, he/she decides it tastes good after all. If the child tries the food and doesn't like it, he/she can go fix something else.

Meal-times at my house
*Anyone may eat any fruit or vegetable they would like in between our normal eating times.

For breakfast, the children have 3 options. (The reason they have 3 options is because I was tired of watching people wandering around the kitchen for an hour in the morning while whining, "I don't know what to haaaaaaaaaaave!") The 3 options are: oatmeal, cereal (usually frosted mini-wheats, raisin bran, or granola), or waffles/pancakes/French Toast (depending on which one we've made that week; I make a big batch and freeze the extra for breakfasts).

For lunch, the children pick any (reasonable) thing they want: sandwiches, left-overs, cheese and apples, that sort of thing. I encourage them to try to include some protein, whole-grains, and some fruits and/or vegetables, but, as long as they aren't trying to eat candy for their meal, they can choose what they have. (They are allowed to have ice cream/cake/candy for lunch on their birthday, if they so choose.)

For snack time, the children pick from the snacky foods: cheese, left-overs, crackers, popcorn, homemade cookies, yogurt, etc.

For dinner, we have long had the rule that if you come to the table and make a negative comment about the food, you are excused to go to bed for the night, and you may eat again in the morning. We talked about how much work goes into making a meal, and that it is very inconsiderate to complain about something someone has used their time and energy to do for you. Up until a few months ago, I planned and fixed most of the meals, and I often asked the kids what they would like for dinner in the coming week. I would fix one meal and try to include at least one item that everyone liked, without ending up making more than one meal (this can take a lot of mental energy to figure out). If a person didn't like what was served, and refused to try any of the prepared meal, he/she was welcome to have oatmeal, fruits, or vegetables.

It only took one or two time of someone being excused from the table for the night for the "THAT'S what we're having?!" or "I don't LIKE that!" comments to stop, which was nice, but I still had to see the disappointed shoulder slump, or the devastated head dropping onto the arms on the table, or the eyes closed grimly. And, many a night, at least one person would choose not to eat anything on the table, or any of the default choices, and leave the table while sobbing something to the effect of "WHY don't you EVER fix anything *I* like to eat?!"

A few months ago, in an effort to make dinner more pleasant for us all, I told the children that they each needed to pick what they would like to eat on one night of the coming week; if they are old enough, they get to help make the dinner too. This has cut down on some of the complaining, and it's a lot easier for me to not take their reaction to dinner personally if I didn't make the dinner, but I'm getting REALLY tired of having spaghetti, rotini, and chili for dinner over and over and OVER. Husband Nobody has been planning dinner ahead of time, so 4 out of the 5 nights of the week, 6:00 rolls around, and somebody starts saying, "So, what are we having for dinner tonight?" and THAT is how we end up eating so much pasta and canned chili.
*******

Since writing the previous post, I have made a couple changes.
1. I have added "choose a meal for the week" to the children's list of weekly chores that have to be done before they can play computer/watch movies on Saturday.
2. When Husband comes home, I am going to my room to catch up on the reading I am behind on and to miss out on the dinner drama.

Thanks to all of YOUR suggestions, once I have recovered from the dinner trauma sucking the life out of me caught up on my reading, I am going to:
1. Try to make it a habit to put out a veggie/crackers/cheese tray while dinner finishes cooking.
2. Make sure there are always spaghetti noodles in the fridge for those who don't like dinner, or maybe have a batch of popcorn ready.
3. Specifically tell them that I respect their food preferences as much as I can, so they can show respect to me by trying a bite of something without a big fuss.
4. Use the Chuck 3 Cheese tokens I bought for motivational purposes to reward those who are polite at the table. Everyone who is polite and respectful about the food served for dinner will earn one token; we will go to Chuck 3 Cheese in a month and everyone can use the tokens they've earned (or they can sit there and watch their siblings if they haven't earned any tokens).

In response to some of the comments:
I think some of them WOULD actually eat steak, but I haven't figured out how to cook it so that it tastes good, and it is so expensive =(.
I have been willing to dish up things without the final ingredients, but the person still wouldn't eat it =(.
I do try to indulge their food preferences as much as I can; we serve the noodles separate from the sauce for those who don't like sauce, we use large plates so the different foods don't touch each other, I don't fix a lot of food that *I* like but that none of the kids like...but they don't realize that not everybody's parents do that.
I have tried hiding various things in the foods they like, but they can usually tell. The only casserole-type thing they'll eat is lasagna, IF it doesn't have ricotta or cottage cheese.
*******
Thank you all for your suggestions and sympathy, even though I didn't explain things very clearly!! It really helped me to "talk this out" with you =).

What To Feed the Children?

If you haven't read this post already, it will make more sense if you read this post first.
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I showed you my beautiful, logical Master List for the CDP Exch*nges; it's like a fun logic puzzle, and I so enjoy filling in all of the information and then figuring out the assignments!

Well, I need help with a logic puzzle that is not at all fun.

I try to feed my children healthy, nutritious, minimally-processed foods. I am even willing and able to COOK many healthy, nutritious, minimally-processed foods. I like knowing which ingredients are in the foods my children are eating. I like the fact that it is more economical to make a lot of foods at home thereby allowing more money to be spent on CDPs us to feed this swarm of children without going bankrupt.

But my children! GAH! THESE OPINIONATED CHILDREN! There are so few foods that all of them will eat! Some people will say, "Oh, if they get hungry enough, they will eat." Those people are WRONG. My children would rather starve to death than eat something they don't like, and LET ME TELL YOU: starving to death is a LONG and miserable process.

When I came home from my vacation...



...moment of silence as I longingly remember that blessed, amazing, peaceful, refreshing time...



...I told Husband that he and the children were going to have to take over dinner duty because trying to plan dinner, and then listening to complaints from one or more people when I put the food on the table was DRAINING MY WILL TO LIVE. (And, yes, I have the chart. And, yes, there are consequences for complaining about dinner, but by the time these children actually understand the connection between their actions and the consequences that follow, I WILL BE DEAD AND BURIED.)

But Husband's dinner planning hasn't been involving much actual PLANNING going well either, so I am STILL having stress about dinner every day. I finally decided that I would write down the foods the children WOULD eat and make a chart to see if that would help me at all. At first, I only wrote down the things they would eat that I can make or that I consider to be nutritious, but that was a VERY SHORT LIST, so then I included as many of the other things that I could think of too. Behold the results below! Any suggestions?

*sometimes means: At some point the child would eat this food, and even complained about there not being enough! But the moment I fixed a double batch, he/she would not touch it.
*yes means: It is almost certain the child will eat this.
*NO means: The child will choose to die a slow, painful death complaining every moment before he/she will put this in his/her mouth.

A	13yo	10yo	8yo	6yo	2yo
Applesauce	sometimes	yes	yes	yes	sometimes
Apples-Green/sour	yes	yes	NO	yes	sometimes
Apples-Red	yes	sometimes	yes	sometimes	sometimes
Bacon	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Baked Chicken	sometimes	NO	NO	NO	sometimes
Bananas	NO	NO	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes
Beef-Roast	sometimes	NO	NO	NO	sometimes
Biscuits	NO	NO	NO	NO	sometimes
Black Beans with Sausage	yes	yes	NO	yes	sometimes
Blueberries-frozen	NO	NO	NO	NO	sometimes
Boiled Eggs	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes
Breadsticks-homemade	yes	yes	NO	yes	yes
Broccoli-steamed	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes
Carrots	sometimes	yes	sometimes	yes	sometimes
Cheese	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Chicken Noodle Soup-canned	NO	NO	NO	NO	NO
Chicken Noodle Soup-homemade	NO	NO	NO	NO	NO
Chicken Nuggets-bought	yes	yes	yes	yes	sometimes
Chicken Nuggets-homemade	sometimes	sometimes	NO	sometimes	sometimes
Chicken Pot Pie-homemade	NO	NO	NO	sometimes	yes
Chili	yes	NO	NO	yes	yes
Chili Only With Corn In It	NO	yes	NO	NO	NO
Chips and Cheese	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Cookies, Choc Chip-homemade	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Cookies, Oatmeal, Homemade	yes	NO	sometimes	sometimes	yes
Corn Flakes with added sugar	yes	yes	yes	NO	yes
Cornbread-homemade	sometimes	sometimes	NO	NO	yes
Corn-canned	yes	yes	NO	yes	yes
Corn-frozen	NO	NO	NO	NO	sometimes
Corn-on the cob	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes
Dora Yogurt	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes
French Fries-homemade	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
French Toast	yes	sometimes	NO	yes	sometimes
Fruit Smoothie	NO	NO	NO	NO	yes
Gogurt	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Goldfish crackers	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Graham Crackers	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Grapes	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Green Beans	sometimes	yes	NO	yes	sometimes
Ham	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Hamburgers-homemade	yes	yes	NO	yes	yes
Hot Dogs	sometimes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Lunch Meat	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Macaroni and Cheese	yes	NO	yes	yes	yes
Mandarin Oranges	yes	NO	NO	NO	sometimes
Milk	yes	yes	yes	NO	NO
Muffins-homemade	sometimes	NO	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes
Nectarines	NO	NO	NO	NO	NO
Nuts-Peanuts	sometimes	sometimes	NO	sometimes	sometimes
Nuts-Pecans	sometimes	sometimes	NO	sometimes	yes
Nuts-Pistachios	yes	yes	NO	yes	yes
Nuts-Sunflower Seeds	yes	sometimes	NO	yes	yes
Pancakes	yes	NO	yes	yes	yes
Peaches	NO	NO	NO	NO	sometimes
Pineapple-fresh	NO	NO	NO	NO	yes
Pizza	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Popcorn	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Pork Chops	NO	NO	NO	NO	sometimes
Pork-pulled-only when fresh	yes	yes	yes	yes	sometimes
Pork-Roast	sometimes	sometimes	NO	sometimes	sometimes
Potato-Baked	NO	NO	NO	NO	NO
Potato-Mashed	NO	NO	NO	NO	NO
Potato-Parmesan Roasted	NO	yes	NO	NO	yes
Pumpkin Pie	yes	NO	NO	NO	NO
Quesadilla	yes	yes	sometimes	yes	yes
Quiche-bacon, sausage, cheese	sometimes	sometimes	NO	sometimes	sometimes
Quiche-only bacon and cheese	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes	sometimes
Ramen Noodles	yes	yes	yes	NO	yes
Rice	NO	NO	NO	NO	yes
Rotini	yes	NO	yes	yes	yes
Salad	NO	NO	NO	NO	NO
Sandwich	yes	yes	NO	NO	sometimes
Sausage Pockets-homemade	yes	yes	NO	yes	sometimes
Scrambled Eggs	yes	yes	sometimes	yes	sometimes
Smoked Sausage	yes	yes	yes	yes	yes
Spaghetti	yes	sometimes	yes	yes	yes
Split Pea Soup-homemade	NO	NO	NO	NO	NO
Tacos	yes	yes	sometimes	yes	yes
Toast	yes	sometimes	NO	yes	sometimes
Toast-cinnamon sugar	yes	yes	NO	yes	sometimes
Tuna Helper-only when fresh	yes	NO	yes	NO	sometimes
Waffles	yes	NO	yes	yes	yes
Yogurt-homemade	sometimes	sometimes	NO	NO	NO