Wednesday, May 18, 2011

This Is Not Exactly What I Was Expecting: Pregnancy #1

As soon as I was old enough to understand what a pregnant woman was, I could hardly wait until it was my turn to do that!  It was FASCINATING:  a tiny, perfect, little person growing inside the woman's body, feeling the baby bump around inside her tummy, a precious, soft, warm, fuzzy, snuggly baby at the end!  Fast forward an eternity more than a decade, and it was MY TURN! 

The day my period was late, I took the pregnancy test in the store bathroom--TWO PINK LINES!!!  I was THRILLED....for about two weeks, before the constant, severe nausea started.  I had heard about morning sickness, of course, but had crossed my fingers and hoped I would be one of the lucky ones who "never felt better" than when she was pregnant (HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA...Joke on me #1).  The only way I could explain it to people so they could almost understand was to say, "You know how when you get a stomach virus or food poisoning, and you are so nauseous, but you really don't want to throw up, so you lie there, miserable, for a long time, but you come to that point where you are leaning over the toilet begging God to either kill you or let you throw up?  THAT is what I feel like EVERY MOMENT I AM CONSCIOUS."  I could barely eat or drink.  I tried the ginger, saltines, peppermint, eating something before I got up in the morning, etc.  I was VERY PUT OUT with whoever had decided that this misery should be called "morning" sickness, instead of "all-day-wish-you-were-dead" sickness.  After about six weeks of this I had my first doctor's appointment.  I asked the doctor if it was normal to be excruciatingly nauseous all the time, and the doctor said, "You are pregnant.  Pregnant women feel nauseous." 

Someone told me that they had gotten Vitamin B shots when they were pregnant and it had helped with the nausea, so I asked about that at my next appointment.  The doctor was happy to give me the shot (he couldn't bring this up himself at my LAST VISIT?!), and it was HEAVEN...for a week.  I went in for another shot, and that one lasted about 3 days, and the last shot didn't do anything =(.  I wanted to WEEP every morning when I had to get out of bed and go do my student teaching because standing/moving made it worse.  I BEGGED my husband to smother me with a pillow to put me out of my misery, but he wouldn't do it.  Every day I wondered how a body could feel so awful and not just DIE from the misery, I LIVED for the 12-13 week mark when the "morning sickness" was supposed to go away, but it didn't start getting better until I was about 22 weeks.

Of course, as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I started making my list of girl names and crocheting cute girly things because, what else would I have?  (HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA...Joke on me #2).  At the ultrasound we learned it was going to be a boy and that he already had hair (who knew they could see hair on an ultrasound?).  Then the naming fun began in earnest.  My husband leaned towards really unique names and I leaned towards names that wouldn't make our child hate us some day more traditional, or at least main-stream, names.  We really couldn't agree, and everyone said that once we saw the baby we would "just know" what his name should be so, like fools, we believed those with more experience than us and decided we would worry about that at the hospital.

I did manage to enjoy weeks 22-30 (hooray!), when I could feel the baby moving and I was obviously pregnant but didn't feel like a beached whale yet.  One day I was feeling my belly and felt the baby's poky elbow or knee or something (a rare occurrence), and, as I rubbed it gently, I felt him pull away with a "don't touch me" kind of vibe;  I thought that was a little strange and but figured it must have just been my imagination (HA, HA, HA...Joke on me #3)! 

The last 2 months of pregnancy the usual discomforts started:  I started getting puffy (at one of my doctor's appointments, the doctor who was pregnant with TWINS looked at me and said, "Wow! You're even puffier than I am!"), felt so large and cumbersome (I had a new understanding of the scriptures which said that Mary was "great with child", and I felt IMMENSE SYMPATHY for her), had to use the bathroom every 2 hours all night long...until about week 36 when the baby dropped and I then had to use the bathroom every 45 minutes all night long...One night, 2 1/2 weeks before I was due, I woke up around 3am thinking, "No, I just used the bathroom 30 minutes ago;  I should still have 15 minutes left..." and, an instant later, my water broke.  I don't think I had ever been happier in my entire life!  My first thought was, "Hooray!  The misery is almost over!"  (HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA...Joke on me #4), followed quickly by, "Hooray!  This is labor FOR SURE, so I don't have to feel silly calling everyone and then not really being in labor!"   


Swistle said...

YES to the wishing so hard for either barfing or death! One of my friends describes it as "wishing an anvil would fall on my head."

And I had that same thought about "Whew, it's labor FOR SURE!" when my water broke. I'd been so nervous that I'd go to the hospital ten times when I wasn't really in labor, and then refuse to go the eleventh because I was too embarrassed and end up having the baby in the living room.

Doing My Best said...

Swistle: YES! I had the same fear! I was SO HAPPY my water had broken because that was a SURE SIGN!